[Trigger warning: talk about abuse, nothing specific is mentioned]
Hello everyone, hope you are doing alright.
We have not been very active here, so I thought I’d give a little update. What the fuck have we been up to? Well, lately, we have been hanging out with the sis and mum, dealing with stuff for our trip.. And we’ve been doing a lot of reading. More specifically, we’ve been reading two books called “The myth of sanity” and “The dissociative identity disorder sourcebook”. Maybe one of us will make some kind of review on them later. Anyway, it really got us thinking. I can’t say it was triggering, but it did get us thinking about our life, our system and most of all, about one of our abusers. And that started a little crisis. It’s better now, but it was difficult.
I guess it’s no wonder, when you learn more about dissociation, and hear other people’s stories and you start examining your life and come to the conclusion that you have in fact been dissociating way more than you previously realized. It kinda hits you like a rock, and you just start questioning everything, which is what made us think about one of our primary abusers. I am 100% certain that this person was abusive, but when anyone of us tries to think of concrete examples we just come up empty handed. To be honest, I’m not to worried about that since I am sure that this person did bad things, but I can feel others inside getting all worked up about it.
Our lack of examples does not surprise me personally because 1. We barely remember anything from our childhood (except for Nemo and Benji, but they keep that a secret) and 2. this person’s abuse was mainly emotional, and I feel like emotional abuse can be very difficult to pinpoint because it’s often so subtle. Also, it can be hard for child to spot because it can be more abstract. You just suddenly feel bad, or try to avoid someone and you don’t know why. Not to mention that emotional abuse, in some cases, is on-going, it’s always there in one form or another until you are so used to it thar you don’t question it anymore.
That’s about all I have to say about that right now. Thanks for reading.