I don’t tell anyone anything anymore

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I don’t tell anyone anything anymore. I don’t know when I stopped, or why, but it really doesn’t bother me. I don’t want to talk. Perhaps I’ve just grown tired of getting stupid responses that make me vow to never open my mouth again. 

People say “you can talk to me, you can tell me anything. I will listen”. But when I do, they dismiss me, implying that everyone feels like that, it’s nothing. What they don’t realize is that 95% of the shit that goes on with me, I keep to myself. I don’t even bother talking about the anger, the constant headaches and exhaustion, my daily struggles with self harm and suicide urges. I’m used to them, and there really is no point in me bringing it up every goddamn day. No, the only time I try discussing issues is when they have reached a point where it starts to worry me. “Welcome to my life” they respond. I give them a tired smile and walk away. 

I don’t tell anyone anything anymore. Mimi and Wynn do, usually without asking me but I can’t say I give a shit about that either. 

I don’t even know why I’m writing this, not like anyone gives a crap anyway. I don’t blame them.

/Phemie

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