Except it doesn’t, now, does it?
For the longest time I kept asking myself, now that x years have past since y, why am I still not getting any better? Why are we as a system still suffering everyday? Why are we still afraid, still feeling unsafe, still anxious, still struggling? Then it dawned on me. Time does not heal wounds. Sure, it provides the means for you to improve, but it does not do the work for you. It does not magically make all your problems disappear. Why aren’t we getting better? Because we spent all those years doing the wrong things. We were not working through the shit that has happened, and to be fair, how could we? You can’t get over trauma if you are still very unstable. We didn’t have anyone to help us along the way, nor did we have the time or energy given the fact that we had to spend it all on just making it through the day.
I was naive, thinking that it’s about how much time has passed, when really, it’s about if you are in a position to work on the “right” things (for instance, if your current situation is stable enough, if you have someone to work with you) and if you really are working on it. One month of hard work is going to do more for us than ten years doing nothing, I’m sure.
Not only did we not work on our issues, we didn’t really live either. We did not go out and make memories, perfect skills or learn something new. We did nothing.
Maybe I’m just being bitter, been feeling so off these past weeks.