Major breakdown

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Had a big breakdown the day before yesterday. Self harming and crying in public and all, followed by flashbacks and glimpses of scenes I don’t understand nor recognize. Don’t you just love when that happens? 

These past couple of days have been difficult. I’ve been dissociating a lot, having very vivid dreams that leave me feeling more exhausted than when I went to bed. I think some memories might be on their way to the surface, but who knows. I honestly don’t know what to tell you. I feel drained. I’m tired of this. 

I don’t dislike my system, and I don’t mind having them around, I really don’t. But sometimes it just gets so frustrating. Not my alters but the situation, everything around them ,you know? Life. Life gets frustrating to a point where I can’t do anything else but sit here and think “Really? Really?” and shake my head in resignation. 

I’ll be hiding in my bed if you need me. 

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