Claustrophobic life

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Have you ever felt that eagerness lifting your heart and spirit way up high? That restlessness crawling in your fingers? That curiosity like an itch deep within? That ambition that could break you?

Sometimes I’m overwhelmed with this urge, this burning desire to explore the world, discover its secrets, unravel its mysteries and ultimately change it for the better. I want to travel the world and see what it has to offer, be in total awe of its beauty. I want to spend years and years studying everything at university, I’m so thirsty for knowledge I can barely hold myself back. I want to make a difference, spread awareness, knowledge, tolerance and love, not for the fame or money, but simply because this world truly needs it. 

I want to do everything, be everything, right now. But I can’t, because I can’t afford it, I don’t have time, I need to graduate first, I’m dependent of therapy and medication. I feel so incredibly stuck, so utterly trapped. Like a bird in a cage, placed by a window- sensing what it’s missing out on but doomed to watch from afar. 
I’m being unrealistic, I know, and yes, my time will probably come but… I’ve waited patiently for so long, to escape this claustrophobic life, my frustration is spilling out trough my mouth and fingertips. I’ve finally learned how to dream, now I can’t contain my hope anymore. I feel like a runner, waiting for the race of his life to begin. I’m on my mark, I’m all set, can I please go? 

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