My name is Euphemie, but most people call me Phemie.
Okay, that wasn’t entirely true. Most people don’t call me jack shit because they don’t know I exist. Not even the people who know call me that, only the other system members do. I want to change that. I want to be able to tell others that my name is Phemie, not Jessica, who the hell is that anyway?
People who have met me would probably describe me as ever so grumpy, bitching, moaning and swearing… girl. There is more to me than that, so let me introduce myself,
Hi, I’m Phemie. I just turned 17. I live with my mum in an apartment, my dad left when I was a kid. He was an asshole, so I don’t really care. My mum is a workaholic, except on weekends, then she morphs into an alcoholic instead. I don’t blame her, I mean, being a single mum is hard. Being a single mum who dated an ass for years and then got cheated on and dumped by said ass is even harder. Oh, and that so called “one night stand” turned into my half-sibling The Broken child. It grew up with my dad, that’s probably why it is so fucked up. Poor kid. It is the only person I really care about. So no, I really don’t blame her. She is doing her best, and I appreciate that, even if we’re not close emotionally. We’ve never been so I don’t even know what I’m missing out on. Sometimes when I watch my classmates interact with their parents I wonder what it would be like, to have a family. A real one. Some people say that your chosen family is better than your biological one. I wouldn’t know, I don’t have any friends. Letting anyone close just isn’t my thing so I just stick to myself in school. But still, I do wonder sometimes..
My biggest passion is words. Sarcasm, wordplays, puns, quotes, cursing, poetry, songs, books, you name it. And I really enjoy lecturing and spreading awareness. Or maybe it’s fighting ignorance I like. There is really nothing that pisses me off more than ignorant bitches walking around saying stupid shit. Now, my passion for words doesn’t prevent me for getting physical, oh no, I’ll kick your ass any day. If you deserve it, that is.
I guess that’s where my role as a protector comes in. I protect our system from morons and I guess I’m also an outlet since I am the only one who has the balls to call bullshit. It’s just so frustrating when I get pulled back when I’m just doing my job, cause someone inside gets scared that I’ll start a fight or something. I mean, it’s not like my criticism is ever uncalled for.
Anyway.. I like listening to music, alternative mostly. The Used, Papa Roach, Linkin Park, Paramore, 30 seconds to mars, that kind of thing. Uhm, what more..? I’m not that interesting. I’m a brunette, pretty short and usually wear make up, unlike the body. You know, I’ve been feeling a little down lately, I guess because I’m sick of not being allowed to be myself. I understand that it’s difficult for the rest of the system, but I just wish that I could get a little more freedom, you know? Is that too much to ask? I don’t even know exactly what I’m asking for here, do I want permission to put make up on and dress the body from time to time? Do I want permission to let a trusted few know when it’s me they are talking to? Do I want people to acknowledge me and treat me like an individual? All I know is that I want more.
I’m sorry guys, I’m trying to open up here but I’m just not used to it. I’m kind of nervous, actually. Oh well, here goes nothing.