Right after I’d posted my last post, I came across multiplicityandme’s most recent video, in which Jess announces that she will quit making videos and bloging/answering questions on tumblr. I am going to be honest. I cried, hard. Seeing how much work and effort she has put into spreading the awareness about DID, and how ignorant and cruel people have been to her just broke my heart. I don’t know anyone with multiple personalities, so after being diagnosed, I felt utterly alone. Finding her and her alters on Youtube changed the way I thought about myself and my condition. They taught me so much and made me feel less alone, and inspired me to start this blog. Jess and her alters are my personal heroes, and seeing Jess so crushed was… it still brings me to tears.
She mentioned a few of the negative comments in her video, and it was just absolute bullshit. She was too positive? She wanted to show what it’s really like to live with the condition, and the reality is that you can have a good, happy, life. She wanted everyone to know that having DID does not mean that you are doomed to have a miserable life, and her attitude during the interview reflected that. It would have made no fucking sense to to be grumpy or whiny while trying convey the message that you can live with DID and be happy and successful.
Some said that she was just seeking attention. Of course she wanted attention. It just wasn’t for her own sake, but for the sake of spreading the awareness. How the fuck do you think she or anyone else would be able to spread the awareness without seeking and getting any attention, you dumb bitch?
She was also accused of doing all that she has done because of the money. You clearly have no idea how people with mental health disorders, especially with DID, are being treated if you think that anyone would ever put themselves out there solely for the money. Speaking up about a condition like DI in a world were most people have either have never heard of it, don’t believe it exists or think that movies, books or the media have given an accurate description of what it’s all about, you are guaranteed to have ignorant assholes throwing shit at you. One would need to be extremely passionate about their cause to have the guts to appear in news papers and TV. No amount of money the press or a TV company would be willing to pay could make up for all the harassment you’ll be put through.
And another thing people complained about was that she didn’t switch during the interview when she was asked too. Like she said herself: she is not a circus act. She has every right to not switch if it makes her uncomfortable. And besides, even if she had done it, I’m sure they would have accused her of being fake anyway so it would not have mattered.
And apart from all this my boyfriend wasn’t well, and ever since my psychologist told me to give the broken child more space I’ve been feeling so much guilt about what happened to me that wasn’t there before. I cried basically the whole day, and than I felt shit because I had let the whole day pass without getting anything done…
Me and my boyfriend talked about it though and I’m feeling better today