If my mind was a sky, it was clouded today (repost)

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[Trigger warning; anger, destructiveness]

I had trouble concentrating today. It felt like I had a dense fog inside my head preventing me from thinking at all. You know that feeling like there is so much going on inside your head, but you’re blocked out and it gives you kind of a headache? That feeling.

It started at lunch, when I started thinking about the angry man (who is one of my alters. see “about me”) and how I suspect him being a psychopath/narcissist. Not a mean, bitter man but a clinical psychopath. If you watch Criminal Minds, you’ve probably encountered fictional narcissists and psychopaths and you probably know that they (at least in this show) often will sacrifice themselves for fame. They don’t care if they die as long as everyone knows their name. That’s how the angry man is. He would do anything to get what he wants (which is causing others as much pain as possible), even if it means that I/the body dies. It could be that he just doesn’t consider it his body or that he just simply doesn’t care whether he lives or not.

Either way, it worries me and I don’t know.. It’s almost as if I can feel someone trembling inside. And I think he might be getting stronger.

And to top it off, my psychologist is on vacation…

Do you have any advice for me?

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5 thoughts on “If my mind was a sky, it was clouded today (repost)

    anacruiz10 said:
    September 4, 2013 at 8:10 pm

    Wow, I’m not really sure what to say here. Is this someone you know that you have been exposed to and are worried for him? If so, is this person affection your life? Do you feel he is a danger? It’s really hard to know unless I have more information. Otherwise, I feel you have a very astute skill of reading people, which is wonderful, but you don’t have to use it to worry yourself. You need to worry about your own well being and your own life, so try to focus on that perhaps?

      litenselleri responded:
      September 5, 2013 at 3:32 pm

      Well hello there!
      The angry man is one of my alters! You see, I have multiple personalities and he is one of them. I’m sorry if that was unclear!
      And thank you for your advice! I’m trying to figure out how to get better, but there has been so much going on with my alters lately, it’s been tough. But I’m getting there, slowly but still 🙂

        anacruiz10 said:
        September 5, 2013 at 4:04 pm

        Ah I see that makes sense. I didn’t know that. Then in that case my advice is think about why he acts that way, examine it, figure out what could be fixed and ways to implement that. The important thing is that you’re trying. We all have our pains and our problems to endure, what matters is in our hearts that we are willing to change. Stay strong! 🙂

        litenselleri responded:
        September 6, 2013 at 5:25 am

        Thank you for your advice! I’m trying to figure him out but it makes me a little scared and uncomfortable listening to him.
        You are right! I’m doing the best I can and that is enough 🙂

        anacruiz10 said:
        September 7, 2013 at 7:35 pm

        I could not agree more! And no problem! 🙂

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